Different Consciousness

Back in 2012, I was convinced that celibacy was the “path of purity.” I was convinced that there was no other way. The sexual experiences I had before becoming a BK, demonstrated me that sex could be hurtful although, at the same time; there was an uncontrollable drive, an instinctual manifestation which couldn’t be stopped at will. It was pleasurable yes, but with some awareness I could feel the “negative” sides too (depletion of vitality, subtle violence, attachment) and the longing to have the “ultimate sexual experience,” as society sold me that idea through its conditioning.
Brahma Kumaris was a “savior” for me at that time, as I was surely heading into that route of “sex indulgence.”

Superficially, it is easy to blame sex as the culprit. “Sex is sinful, bad, etc.” Now, I realize the issue wasn’t sex per say, but the location of my consciousness and experiences at that time. As we go through the “spiritual” journey, we could observe that consciousness is indeed everything. No wonder “God” said at that time: “Sex-lust is the greatest enemy.” Why? That was needed by me at that conscious level. No more questions. The issue was that I thought that I had “arrived,” when in fact; I was just starting. That was my case.

8 years later: Sex for me is one of the most gratifying experiences that I could have. It is not just pleasure, it is fulfillment. It is regeneration. In 8 years, I am the same person, although; I am not. Different consciousness. For me, Spirituality and Sexuality are intimately related. What are the characteristics of that “new” consciousness? Far less inner and outer violence. A greater capacity for enjoyment. Far less taboos and hangups. That is “more spiritual.”

We may need to experience the extremes to know the middle and once we know it, we cannot say that one side of the rope is “better” or the “truth,” rather than the other; for we understand that the whole experience is necessary. “Spiritual” understanding is not of the mind, but it is in the process of living.

For those only interested in defending philosophies and BK beliefs; I may be the example of someone who had been walking the path of “purity” and…. oh Maya! “She” took me away from the path!

Back in 2003, I was taken from the path of being a “normal” human. My wife at that time, later resented the BK movement because “that took me away from marriage.” My ex-wife had her experience, her point of view and BK followers have a different one. I cannot please everyone and that is not what Life is about. When dealing with contradicting opinions, the main point is to observe our own feelings: When dealing with that issue, what is what I feel? And more important once a personal decision is made: With what kind of care I disengage from one side to go into the other? It is not just about DOING what we think is “right,” but we need to consider those who are with us, those who soon will be part of our past: How do I break the news? How do I prepare the terrain so potential animosity is minimized? That is a mastery in itself, for otherwise; consequences will be felt without a doubt.

At that time, I picked the BK movement over society. Ten years later, I picked Life. Not society again, but Life. Thus, from society, to BK and now into Life. Once we learn about conditioning, we cannot be part of that anymore although, living with all, acknowledging all without rejection.

It is important to look back so we find the “gems of knowledge” through our own experience.
There was a time when society was alright. There was a time when “they” were considered “impure” by me. We can go “pro” OR we can go “con.” That is the path of the mind. We have a belief, an opinion of everything. To understand that our opinions are based on our experiences and those are different from someone else’s, is a teaching that took me awhile to realize. Now is the time when I observe society for it reflects “me,” but there are no movements “pro or con.” Same with the BK world.

What has changed? Consciousness. To allow for Life to change “me,” has been very important in my path. Otherwise, I would be stuck with a philosophy, a point of view and rejecting others. Why reject others? To belong to one, means not to belong to others. We cannot embrace the Totality at that point, and Life is a Totality.

I rejected Brahma Kumaris before becoming a BK and while belonging to society. I took the “7 days course” and dismissed those “crazy beliefs” for about a year; until I had experiences with Brahma Baba, thanks to my sister’s connection with him. That changed my game. That saved me from my pursue of “empty dreams” but ended my marriage as well. Also during those years, the extremes arrived in my Life to complete the “humble” lifestyle look: Went from a Director of Technology into a pool cleaner and massage therapist. The experience was devastating for my ego, but looking back; it was completely necessary. For what? For that who is emerging now. It takes time. Our label of an experience changes according to the color of the glasses we wear. Those glasses are consciousness.

The “price” to pay for what I know now by experience, is not cheap. Nothing is free of charge.
Can I get angry and complain that I could have been someone “important” in Life, if it wasn’t that I decided to go full heart with my spiritual “nonsense”? That is lack of awareness and lack of honesty. I felt that there was something calling me, but I couldn’t put a name to that. It was related with spirituality, with “God,” but then it changed into knowing myself. That was the driving force, the meaning that I was searching and that I couldn’t fulfill by following different paths.

Now, I receive help and guidance from two beings similar to Brahma Baba. I understand that this may not be the reader’s experience; but all I can say is that I did not reject that experience in my path and I have grown through that experience. Life is greater, much greater than any single philosophy or religious view.

I didn’t look for those experiences. Those came to me. Life sent them. If we cling to something, we are no longer learning in Life but we are accepting the route of comfort, the route of perceived security in an ever changing world. To learn and grow in Life, means necessarily to change.

Now I can say that Sex, Brahma Kumaris and Society are all alright; God is also alright and so is Maya.
Let me add the words “in my experience” at the end of that sentence above.
My experience cannot be yours, but perhaps you could recognize some aspects of this writing in your own life.
I am not selling anything to you. I am not sharing any “truth” to you to save yourself or looking to gain your “vote” pro or against something.
I merely write to share my experiences, to share change but perhaps, with a different consciousness every time.