Question on sexuality, infatuation, jealousy and attachment in the BK experience

Thank you for your question. Although, Avyakt7-NG does not wish to answer personal questions, I felt my answer could be for the “common good,” as you are struggling with something which many BKs may also experience. That is infatuation. This answer will have a personal note to you based on what you have shared.

Observe that your case has become more difficult as time went by. Observe that my first answer to you back in 2016, had 2 sides: 1) Do not repress sexuality which you interpreted as a license to go on with your sexual fantasies. The word “repression” means to keep something in the unconscious by force. Many people practicing celibacy keep that vow using force, violence within. There is no repression when that inner struggle is not there. 2) The second and perhaps most important part of my answer was to be HONEST with yourself. You know that you are a sexual person, but you may not be aware that violence is impulsing the expression of your sexuality. A BK follower does not “practice” any form of sexuality. Honesty will guide you to see that “reality.” From your previous posts you explained that you practice BK ism as you see fit you at a particular time. Although you have been associated with Brahma Kumaris for 7 years, you haven’t been fully practicing the BK path. Do you realize that?

Now, you are infatuated with one of the BK female teachers. Do you see the escalation?

If you value peace and tranquility above any other things in your Life, you may clearly and honestly see that you need to leave the BK religion. This is my straight advise to you: Leave. Completely and quickly. “Cold turkey.” Cut all relationships with the BK center that you attend and all the people in it, and the BK religion at once. At this time, Brahma Kumaris is not for you. Hope I did not give any space for misunderstanding in my reply.

What do you do now? You need emotional help. You must look for that help. You need to observe the habit of masturbation and how that is being used to deal with depression and inner violence. That is the main point to find. In your current condition, your mind will not allow you to have a loving relationship with a woman. It will be only sexual to try to satisfy the mind and its repression and then you will look for another one, for the mind cannot be satisfied and you will be empty handed but depleted of vitality. Jealousy and attachment go together. With those vibes inside you now, you may need to be honest and protect the personal integrity of the object of your infatuation/sexual attraction. You haven’t written about loving her, but only being strongly attracted to her. That is a very honest note from you. But even if you might think that you love her, leaving her completely will be a kind act from you, given yours and her circumstances.

In the last couple of articles I have explained extensively the issue with habits and sexuality and how other”lower” beings may be involved as well, depending on the INTENTION behind our actions. A strong habit may become difficult to dissolve due to that symbiosis.

What do you take as a teaching from the current situation? This is what matters in your spiritual development. Perhaps you learned about your insecurity, your jealousy. Perhaps you observed your own inner violence in action and the trigger for that. Perhaps you realized that the ideal to be without sex, is not workable at this time for you. You observed the consequences on following the ideal of celibacy with repression. I am not saying that celibacy is “bad” or that it doesn’t work. Celibacy naturally works for some people, without repression. Perhaps you see clearly our tendency to blame others if things do not go the way we wish. Brahma Kumaris was the institution that made you see “your weaknesses” as all the “normal” supports were cut off from your life. You paid the price, the “tuition” through your own experience. That is invaluable.

On Emotional help: At this point, I’d suggest for you to try a psychologist first. Once that person counsels you to make you aware of your hidden emotions and mental habits (fantasies) with your inner violence continuously looking to express; then seek help of alternative healing to dissolve those energies within you. Google for “emotional healing and alternative medicine.” This will be a new journey for you. It requires your complete focus to observe your inner changes. If you need a religion or spiritual system for support, look for something else available resonating with you. To learn from your own emotional and mental state, should be your top priority. That is part of any serious seeker’s journey. Also consider giving part of your time to help others. That is a wonderful “cure” for self-absorption, which is one of the causes for many emotional/mental issues.

If you are honest in your willingness to heal your emotions and mind, Life will bring the right settings and people for you. It all depends on your true intention. What seems hard to do now, will help you later on when you look back at that experience and you will be able to share with others going through the same. Inner honesty will help you to be conscious, aware of this experience as it unfolds.

Remember: To experience pain in Life is unavoidable, but to experience suffering is a mental disease.

All the best to you.