Celibacy and Sexuality

Sexuality is a mirror of who we ARE. In a violent world, sex will have that violent color at some point. Constant ejaculation will deplete a man’s vitality. While there are techniques to have sex without ejaculating, as our spirituality blossoms by healing wounds and unlearning conditioned patterns, then what is “achieved” through techniques, becomes natural without techniques.

As our consciousness changes, so will be our sexual life. BEING is before DOING.

In my time as a Brahma Kumaris where I “practiced” celibacy for 10 years (that is no sex at all including masturbation,) that experience showed me my own repressions: I could observe that even though externally in my demeanor there was a non-sexual behavior, internally there was an inner fight: Dreams at night insinuating sexuality and even “wet dreams” which at the time I even counted how many episodes I had within a year and that gave me my “baseline” for what I thought was “improvement.” Once every 6 months was “my record” of non-conscious nocturnal ejaculation. Sometimes it was more, depending on what was going on in my Life at that time. As my rejection towards sex and sexuality increased, I could feel that I was a firm BK with a firm hold on celibacy, but I was just beginning my path in the understanding of sexual energies. Prostate inflammation was the price I paid for that lesson at that time.

I didn’t know that inner violence, unhealed traumas, emotional repressions as well as living mostly in the mind; will not allow the easy flow of sexual energy. As the heart center was developed and the acknowledgment of feelings took place, then little by little the repressions staying in the first and second “chakra” started to clear. I observed that as a kid I loved to dance and I was pretty good. However, as an adult in repression mode; my ability to move with fluidity and dance freely ceased to be.

Through this small article I’d like to urge the BK organization to give their followers useful, positive information about sexual energy. In my time as a BK I looked for trusted information as I did not know Bks who were open to speak about their findings and experiences. When sex becomes a taboo, only repression could happen and that is not celibacy at all. The BK literature about “Brahmacharya” (celibacy) may need further revision as the methodology of infusing fear of sex is not the path for a healthy view of human sexuality.

Now, I realize that as we heal emotionally and allow for the heart to have the driving seat of our BEING, then even the “practice” of celibacy changes totally. There are no “wet dreams” anymore, no repressions but there is the acknowledgment of sexuality as an integral part of Life’s expression. At one point that manifestation was only physical, but then as consciousness evolved, there is a need for the emotional component to be there as well. That is why it has been said that the expression of the mind, body and soul (feelings) together in unison, in alignment, are the complete, wholesome action (DOING.) When those 3 are present together through sexuality, we can label that action as “making love.” Many could be self deceived with the terminology, unless they have a clear recognition of what comes from their mind, feelings and emotions. For most this will be the journey of recognition by going from the mind to the heart.

Celibacy means to transcend sexuality in a natural way and not as a repression of it. However, the balancing point between sex and celibacy is for each of us to feel and observe, as everyone is at different stages of our spiritual development.

I am happy to report that my ability to dance and move the hips with fluidity and grace came back again and I welcomed that experience as the father did to his prodigal son.