Deconditioning through Brahma Kumaris

Our consciousness will change once there is experiential awareness. Consciousness does not change by mere regurgitation of “Knowledge/ Gyan.”

For this to happen, there is a need for a space away from the elements of conditioning. In most cases, society is the biggest source of conditioning, thus anything that will keep us away from society will give us the space needed for awareness to appear.

In my time as a Brahma Kumaris follower, I can now see; how the above explanation was present.
To hang out only with BK followers, to only eat the food prepared by them, to follow their codes of conduct and to spend most of my time with Brahma Kumaris “business,” was the way to create that space of separation from mainstream society.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to see at that time how deconditioning was operating: I wasn’t watching TV or going to the movies, for that was considered a waste of time and a source of “tamopradhan” vibes. I wasn’t around my family members. Work was “better” if it did not take much of my time after the requirements to sustain myself were fulfilled. Sexuality was shut down as a way to avoid further mingling and attachment with others and my body. In a nutshell, most ways of conditioning that society values, were taken away. At that time, my mind was “black or white,” as the knowledge/Gyan appeared to me: “I am becoming satopradhan (good) while society’s way was corrupted, tamopradhan. A rejection to mainstream society arrived, which was largely supported by hearing the daily Sakar Murlis.

Observe how deconditioning takes place, although; a new conditioning was placed in my mind instead. This conditioning is the one that becomes hard for a “firm” follower to get rid of, once the person leaves the Brahma Kumaris movement.
Why?
The feeling of guilt is unavoidable. The Brahma Kumaris movement is an extraordinary deconditioning path, which leaves no way to “escape” for a follower who is preoccupied in gaining Godly favors in heaven or in this Life, or for a follower who has this idea that to be “good” is to follow a script given by someone else. Usually this follower is an achiever, who is trading mainstream ways into what he may think are “spiritual” ways.  This follower has fear of failure and not to comply with the teachings of “god.”  That fear will manifest eventually in anger.

An ex-follower will use scientific evidence to prove the BK teachings “wrong,” to be at peace with his guilt. Science is one of the greatest conditioning paths that mainstream society has. To believe in scientific research is for the BEING, at the same level of believing in some deep rooted traditional belief system. Both conditioning paths, will take away the ability of the individual to discover his own truth, to observe himself, to become AWARE.

Nevertheless, conditionings paths are not “bad.” They are necessary to live in society, in groups. But, for someone who is walking the path of self-realization, these props of conditioning will need to be left aside, to discover our own self. This event has a timing and it is different for every individual.

For the common good.

Is the knowledge of Brahma Kumaris the “truth”?

Probably many BK followers looking at this website may not resist in reading this article. The title is very eye catching.
Followers want to make sure if what they are into is the “truth.” Nothing else matters.
Followers want to make sure and jump in the bandwagon of “truth.”

Avyakt7 believed through his experience and his understanding a few years ago, that what Brahma Kumaris teaches is the “truth.”
While at that stage of consciousness, everything made sense and what didn’t make sense could be rationalized into something that did make sense. That was perfect! Having the “truth” is an ego booster and a source of tranquility knowing that “I am safe” in the afterlife.

Now, Avyakt7- NG ( Ahnanda) has a different view.
Ahnanda is not interested in “truth” for he understands that what we see, perceive and comprehend is part of the “role” thus “REALITY” depends on what we are “equipped with” for perception.

“The body is perishable whereas the soul is imperishable. A total part is recorded in this tiny soul. It is such a wonder! Even scientists do not understand this. An immortal, imperishable part is recorded in this tiny soul. The soul is imperishable and his part is also imperishable.” SM 5/22/17

For instance, now I can see that the body is NOT perishable although it perishes. Doesn’t make sense? That is because the cycle of time is not understood. The soul is imperishable, its part is imperishable and therefore, the body is imperishable for it is part of the role.

I just corrected a Murli point. Look at that! Everything that exists is imperishable.

Observe that our level of perception and understanding is different. Who is right? Who is wrong? Who has the “truth”?
None of that is important. “Having the truth” is not important at all in Life.

The “truth” may be important as some theory that needs to be validated by followers living in the mind, to make sense of an ever-changing world, but that is artificial.

BEING does not change through understanding of some dogma labeled as “truth.”
What truly matters is the AWARENESS of how everything is perishable: Ideas, truths, beliefs, perceptions… there is nothing that could last…

Wait a minute! You just said that everything is imperishable and now you are saying that it is perishable! You are contradicting yourself!

Yes. Do you see the “truth” in that? Does it matter?
It is just a matter of perception. Do we see the “truth” in that?
If the truth is a perception and perceptions change according to the location of our consciousness, then what is truly true?
Food for thought.

Brahma Kumaris knowledge is true for certain consciousness and false for others. Brahma kumaris knowledge is neither “true” or “false” for fewer consciousness… and that could be closer to the “truth,” although if only few can understand the above, then the “truth” could be far away… for most but not few.

But…if “Few” can understand and “Most” cannot, it is obvious that “the truth” will be something that “Most” can understand… Even though the “truth” is in the “Few.”

That is why a “best seller” or a “spiritual book” or “scripture” given for the understanding of “Most” is far away from the “truth” …  😉
Food for thought.

For the common good.

Murli point- May 17, 2017

“Sweet children, become conquerors of sleep, stay awake at night and churn knowledge, stay in remembrance of the Father and your mercury of happiness will rise.
Question:

There are many holidays in Bharat, but you don’t get a holiday in the confluence age for even a second; why?
Answer:

Because every second of the confluence age is most valuable. You have to remember the Father in every breath. Remain engaged in service, day and night. Become obedient and faithful, have your sins absolved by having remembrance and return straight home with honour. You have to become free from punishment and make both the soul and the body pure. This is why you cannot get a holiday for even a second.”

Sakar Murlis have value to inspire “effort makers” to DO many things which are thought that will bring benefit to the follower.
The downside is that when taken literally in particular settings, it could actually hurt the follower.
Nevertheless; as the Drama has it, even though a follower follows a direction which may seem “outlandish,” he may find the benefit that he was seeking, although it will be for a limited  time only.

A “conqueror of sleep” is one of those items that BKs may discover could benefit in some ways (Waking up early and going to bed early, if the follower did not have any discipline before) but many circumstances may change around the individual. Time to change has arrived, but the follower may want to stick with his mental ideals and make this valuable Life in the “confluence age” a fearful experience.

“Stay awake at night and churn knowledge,” could be interpreted in many ways, thus it is useless as a “direction,” for it will not fit everyone’s case.

BK knowledge has the “remembrance of the father” as a direction. However, that “direction” is interpreted in many ways. Paradoxically, that is actually the “success” of that direction. It is highly ambiguous.

“Why that BK did not “succeed”? “He did not remember the father appropriately. That is why he is gone. He failed. His fortune is gone…”

Let me add another layer to remembrance: “He did not have enough yoga.” And a different spin: “He did not DO enough mansa seva.”

They are all pretty much the same thing, but because it is so open for interpretation, and BK Raja yoga is the “yoga” of the mind; that ambiguousness makes for mental “churning” which is necessary in BK knowledge to keep the mind of the follower “busy.”

For someone living in the mind, a busy mind is his Life and nothing better than churning knowledge for that busy-ness.

I am merely describing the method.  In a different consciousness, out of the mind, that method is no longer needed.

“Become obedient and faithful, have your sins absolved through remembrance… so you don’t experience punishment.”
It is assumed that these things will take time, lots of DOING, that is why there is no time for a break.
It is assumed that the follower is a child who needs to comply with some authority. That is part of the conditioning to last in the BK life.

Nevertheless, those DOINGS are not guarantee that the follower will “make both the body and soul pure.”

There is no guarantee at all unless the follower DOES the method “right,” but the “method” is open for interpretation. Who has the “right” method explained ?   Not even the Murlis.  

For the common good.

Murli points: May 13th

Someone (an angel?) is sending me recent Murli points to inspire some of the articles here.
This one is from May 13th, 2107.

Question:
Which hope should children not have in the Father?
Answer:
Some children say: Baba, cure my illness! Have mercy! Baba says: Those are your old organs. There will be a little difficulty but what can Baba do about it? Why do you ask for mercy from Baba when someone dies or goes bankrupt? Those are your karmic accounts. Yes, with the power of yoga, your lifespan can increase. To whatever extent you can, use your power of yoga.
Song:
You wasted the night in sleeping and the day in eating.

Observe the duality within the question and answer.
“Your karmic accounts” are not just in our perception of what is negative, but also in the perception of what is positive.

A disease could be perceived as “negative.” However, I have been a witness of how that disease could transform someone into a “better” person. Once the transformation takes place, there is no need for that disease to exist, thus; a medicine or a cure is found, the Drama/Life will allow it, and then thanking Baba for that “miracle” may be part of our understanding.

Yes, we are thankful… but it wasn’t Baba who “cured you,” but Life itself once you were ready for a different experience under a different consciousness.

Our minds are so full of traditions, deep rooted beliefs upon beliefs that anything “positive” that happens to us, we automatically believe to be the deeds of God or some other entity of our liking.

Sometimes, entities of light will help someone through a disease, but it Is not because someone is “special” or because that entity is looking to be worshiped. It is a necessity in the Drama. It is a karmic return that needs to happen at a particular time.

Death is perceived as “bad.” Bad karma, etc. That is foolish and childish! It is a passage into a different experience.

“You” want to increase your Life span? Do all the yoga that you want, (for whatever that means to you, without ever knowing if what you are doing is true yoga or not) but if it is in your destiny to go due to an accident or some unforeseen circumstance, there is no power of yoga that could help “you.”
Why should that help you? Is dying young a “bad thing”?

That is only in our perception of what “should be.”
The “eternal soul” is ageless, and this experience is only one of many. We could believe this to be a very “special” moment to DO something “unique,” but every effort to DO something for a particular purpose is full of ego.
Why?
Because it is not “natural DOING” which lacks of any further expectation, as Baba says: “For the sake of just doing.”

“Your” DOING with a purpose in mind to accomplish something in particular, defines “you.” That definition traps “you,” encloses “you” into some ideal that cannot flow, cannot change. Success and failure is created and with that your own hell of fears.

That lyrics of the “song” only projects the image of a renunciate. If our mind is not in balance, we will abuse that and hurt ourselves.
The night is for sleeping, there is no waste in that. “You” cannot open new karmic accounts while sleeping. It is “good”! If you are tired because you want to sleep less, you will make mistakes. Have you noticed that?
Balance.
The same is with eating. There is a fine line within enjoyment of food, nourishment and compulsive eating or lack of it, but a mind which lacks harmony, will tend to see things under a “black or white” perspective.

For the common good.

Destruction is just ahead

“Destruction is just ahead” is one of the most unforgettable lines of a Sakar Murli. It is the motivation for many BKs to “make effort.” Little time remains, hurry up! Or you will be sorry for eternity that “you” failed!

The interesting thing is that “failure” is open for discussion and “you” will not be able to find out if “you” made it or not. Once “you” leave the body (die) there is no longer “you.”

But what about your “subtle body”? That is the “you” that will suffer!
Nevertheless, my “subtle body” is already “there” but yet “I” am not aware of it… Isn’t that a wonder?

Is “Mama” in the subtle region or with the “advance party”?
This is a nice question to ask. That question should take care of the ideas about the “I” and the “you” but… not too many will understand… so stick with that “I.”

How ahead is “just ahead”? That is the question!
What I learned about the “subtle experiences” is that humans tend to make assumptions. We may have a dream about destruction. Shall we say that it will be within 10 years?
Based on what?
Are we looking for “signs,” such a war in some country, or a natural disaster some other place, etc?

That could be, but maybe not.
What about if our vision or dream was misinterpreted?
Maybe. Maybe not.

Life (Drama) has many curves. It is not meant to be as humans believe or understand to be.

A dream or a vision may be just that. May be not. It could happen in your lifetime. Maybe not.

It is that uncertainty what kills us, that is what will make us DO things to be “safe” in case something happens…
The “prize” for being prepared is “heaven.” Nevertheless, no one will ever find out if they were prepared or not… How do you prepare? Is it on “you” to settle your karmic accounts? How do you know if ALL of them were settled?  🙂 By not living life? By safely surrounding yourself with as little people as possible?

“Destruction is just ahead.” That is how newness appears… but as we know, we are “eternal souls” so what is the “problem”?
Most want newness but they will not let go of that which is old.
That is not new at all, but a modification of the same thing to make us believe that we are on target…  Do you want to “save” yourself? Do you want to live in Madhuban or India to make sure that you will continue to exist?  You see, it is all about “you.” It is that “I” the one that needs a promotion before it shrinks!

For the common good.

“Nothing new” and “Everything new.”

“With the awareness of Baba and the knowledge of the drama, you will have the unshakeable stage of “nothing new” and become a destroyer of attachment.”

The above paragraph is from a recent Murli.
Detachment is not a “practice.” If we make detachment into a practice it will only be our interpretation of it.

Detachment comes naturally, as our neediness at all levels lessens.
The ultimate neediness is to define ourselves into someone.

Thus, as our consciousness of being Life itself increases; there is no room for what is known as attachment.

When you are “no one,” who are you going to attach to?

Nevertheless, in BK knowledge there is no experience of non-I; thus, there is a defined “I” attaching to different things… including Baba.
When there is a concise “I” wanting to DO things, disappointment could set in as expectations are not fulfilled, thus; there is a need to hang onto something greater than us, to maintain hope in Life.

That is the importance of Baba in BK life.

But, how could someone protect himself when Life seems so unpredictable, constantly changing?

That is why the knowledge of  “nothing new” arrives. Even though we don’t remember, it is “nothing new.” No need to lose our “stage” for some repeated “bad” moment… and so the “theory” goes.
That is the “yukti” to deal with the constant unpredictable changes in Life.

However, it is a mental solution only. If your emotions are not consistent with your rational understanding of “nothing new,” then there will be a trauma inside.

In BK Life, every moment is a “nothing new.” However, that is not the full reality of things.
Every moment is also a “new” thing. As a matter of fact, that is the way it appears in our consciousness. Life is always newness.

Why don’t we enjoy that newness?
Because there is this “I” wanting to control outcomes, situations, to fit an ideal, when something different occurs then we are distressed.

Detachment is in “No-I.”
Attachment is in “I.”
“Nothing new” is not the whole experience when there is “Everything new” at the same time.

However, “Nothing new” is a valid method to deal with uncertainty.
Although, “Everything new” does not have room for uncertainty… but most of us, are not able to stand uncertainty, which is at the core of Life, thus; we attach to anything that appears to “save us,” to give us the sensation that “we are right,”  safe, to give us comfort like a little baby sucking on his pacifier to avoid crying.

The pacifier helps him to create an unshakeable stage.

For the common good.

The painful repetition of the cycle

In my time as a “teacher” in Brahma Kumaris, I remember that at one time I was explaining the “eternally repeating cycle of time” to a “student.” She started sobbing and crying… I used my “knowledge” of “being detached” from the situation and did not say a thing. The girl then said while crying: “ I was molested by my father, I don’t want that to repeat again.”

I didn’t know what to say other than: “There are good thing that will happen again as well… “
When I commented about that incident  to other BKs, I was given the advice to “take the pulse” of the other “soul,” before explaining the cycle of time.

For some time, I thought that the “cycle of time” was some sort of “acid test” for potential followers or some “ weapon” to be extra careful with. In fact, the “student” response baffled me. She was “right.” That “bad” thing was going to repeat again and again eternally.
Was the Drama some sort of masochist device to inflict the same pain over and over? How could “I” improve or become “better” in Life, if “I” was going to “DO” the same things and receive the same consequences over and over for eternity? 🙂

Ask any “pukka” BK the above question and he may come up with something such as : “Baba has said that the Drama is 75% happiness and 25% unhappiness. I can live with that.”
Yeah! I am “gaining” something in this game and only losing 25%…. what a deal!

As Avyakt7 –NG, I can recognize now the conditioning that traps. Brahma Kumaris knowledge teaches that there are “good” things and “bad” things. Some “right” things and “wrong” things. that could happen to “I.” Those concepts trap our comprehension.

In LIFE, in the DRAMA, there are no such words as “good or bad, right or wrong.”
 Life offers EXPERIENCES and we get attached to those by labeling them “good” or reject them and make a trauma of them, by labeling those as “bad.”

When we see Life from an “unlimited” perspective, we could see “cause and effect,” and we could see that everything that IS, will not BE. My perception of some experience as “bad” is only limited, for through that experience there will be further change and eventually growth. Not only that, but Life will give us experiences custom fitted for us. Experiences in Life have the full range: If we get praise, then defamation will be waiting for us, both ends through the same extent and intensity. This is known as polarity.

That “student” is out of that experience now (molestation,) but yet she is crying for the anticipation that it will happen again. She is not living the now. Her mind is giving her a belief to worry about in the future (her past.) That “student” is unable to perceive the threads of experiences (karma) and how they are meshed together. She can only isolate them and see in a limited way what is going on.

Nevertheless, that “student” was upset and she did not follow the BK system due to that “crazy belief.”

The “student” missed the opportunity to liberate herself from that trauma of  molestation. If she had awareness, she could have observed that this trauma appeared through the trigger of a belief. 

Life did not offer her the opportunity to join the BK religion ( As religious followers may believe.) Life offered her the opportunity to be AWARE of her trauma and take care of it, to live a happier life.

The student perceived  a painful belief. The religion/teacher perceived a person who is not ready to accept the “truth”  to join them, but in Life all of those incidents are only agents for causality, that is how the “Drama”/Life moves.

For the common good.

The sin of sex

It is the belief in Brahma Kumaris that sexuality is sinful. In the “Golden age,” “babies will be born out of the power of yoga,” it is said. Inquiring more into how the physical connection will happen between 2 human beings, will bring the following answer: “Through a kiss.”

Nevertheless, souls in “Parandham” need to “come down” at this time through regular sex. A BK is spared from this “sinful activity.” Other less fortunate human beings will automatically fall into “sin.” The Drama needs those “sinful” souls, for other souls to come down through them and do their part in the “world stage.” Therefore, is the Drama helping only BK souls? Why is God allowing for his non-BK children to fall into sin?

The above is the conundrum of the “universal” God helping only part of “his children.” This problem exists in religions believing in a God. Their God. Not everyone could fit their requirements.

Sex is a problem for individuals living in the mind. These individuals are always looking for the “right” behavior, the ideal rather than to understand themselves.

I understand that many BKs reading this may feel uncomfortable, there may be a rejection inside for topics dealing with sexuality.
Consider this: In Brahma Kumaris, females cover their bodies as well as males, however; they do not cover their feet. In the Western world, women feet are considered one of the most common “fetishes.” (a form of sexual desire or fixation for a human body part.)
Basically, sexual arousal is there  at the center near you, even though unwillingly. Is it possible to run away from sexuality?

BK activities considered “good” such as singing and dancing at the core are sexual activities. Observe how singers are idolized and what they represent in society as well as dancers. They have “sex appeal.”
The division of men and women creates a support of homosexuality which may contradict society’s standards.
I am not saying that homosexuality is wrong or bad. I am merely stating the issues that could come up when asexuality is supported as an ideal.

When an ideal is taken as a way of living, there is little consideration of the nature of the individual. Will power can help someone to an extent to fit an ideal. After the limit has been crossed, it becomes rejection, repression and from there guilt and shame.

A Brahma Baba practicing celibacy after he already had children and in his older age, is not in the same situation as a 30 to 40-year-old man or younger than that.
How could someone “conquer sex” if that person rejects it?
That is not possible. Even though  the “ideal” exists in the world of the mind; it is not real.

Will power is misused in this endeavor. It is not the activity of sex which is “sinful” but the type of consciousness of those engaged in a sexual act. In that, celibacy could be “sinful” as well, for any rejection of what Nature and Life has offered us, will be a negation of Life itself.

For the common good.

The fascination with Sexuality

One of the most read articles in the blog “Exploring the depth of Living” is this one: Why Brahma Kumaris deny sex?
(https://explore7.wordpress.com/2012/09/12/question-why-brahmakumaris-deny-sex/ )

In most BKs there is a fascination with sex. Out of that learned rejection, there is an inner fight.
I will be sharing more articles related with sexuality in this blog as this is my personal experience and path.

Observe “avyakt7’s writing” back in 2012. Some anger and a deep need to “prove” to others was in him. His “proof” was in part his personal experience at that point in his life, and a belief system learned through the Brahma Kumaris. Helpful at the time, unhelpful now.

Now, let us look at Brahma Baba and the Yagya in the beginning. “Aham Brahmasmi” (omnipresence) was their belief. It changed into God’s Shiva (personal God) later on.

Individuals who are not aware of the journey of self realization, they could interpret this as: “The latest belief is the true one.”
That is a big mistake. In self-realization what is the “true concept to believe in” means nothing. It is not about “having the truth,” it is about experiencing the complete journey, the “Yes” and the “No.”

Without this journey, how is it possible not to reject the side that we do not believe in? If you take a stand on a particular side and identify your ego with that side (celibacy) that means that rejection of sexuality will be there.

Someone may say: “But you experienced sexuality before Brahma Kumaris, so celibacy was the complete journey…”
Not quite. The sexuality I experienced before Brahma Kumaris was more or less the “normal one.” Ejaculation all the time, even premature ejaculation and a sense of feeling depleted, as my energy was taken away.
This is not “bad,” but like I said before, part of the range of experiences in Life.

In Nature, we have people who are integrating their sexual energies within themselves, they do not require a partner and they can practice celibacy “naturally.” There are other people that integrate their sexuality with a partner, thus sexuality is natural for them. In between those 2 extremes, there is a range of experiences. The example of Yogananda is the one of celibacy. The example of Yogananda’s guru; Yukteswar Giri is the one of practice of the family Life. Both individuals were in the path of self realization.

Anil mentioned about following the example of Gandhi in his preference for Celibacy. Please read this article.   Whether this article is true or not is not the point here.

Observe that Gandhi wanted to follow what he “thought” to be “pure, clean, etc.” without looking at his own nature at the time.  The ideal is more important than his own Life. That is the issue with followers of religions. Their concern is to follow a particular behavior, a moral standard created by someone and labeling that as “pure, good, etc.” People may try it and “fail.” Guilt will be felt. Others may fail but still live within the religion/belief system as hypocrites. In reality this is not “failure” but simply it is not within their nature.

Sexuality goes along with the path of self-realization, as the energies of beliefs, traumas and emotional hang ups are cleared; the nadis in the “sexual system” are cleared and sexuliaty has a different dimension. Whether the nature of the individual is to be celibate or not is not an issue, what matters is what the individual IS now: Less ego, less hang ups, more openness.

Caught up in DOING and following what we believe a realized Godly man is; we forget the most important thing: Ourselves. Then we can lie to ourselves to make us believe that we are going someplace. Honesty, can take as out of this loop. No one else can.

For the common good.

Changing sanskaras

“In my experience, somehow I had developed deep faith in BK knowledge very soon and followed shrimat to the extent I could; I had even brought immense pressure on myself to change because I wanted to ‘change’ my sanskars.
In no time, I had developed a lot of disinterest in this world, but I was not faking it, any number of external situations/ tests had proved (to me) that I was a totally different person from what I was the previous year.

So, it was the teachings, and full faith in those teachings that had brought the changes in me. Knowledge and churning knowledge (which I used to do non stop while awake) had changed my sanskars.
Doing also brings in change.”  Regards, Gayathri.

Dear Gayathri,
Thank you for your well-developed comment.
What you are describing about your Life, is what I described about “yoga” yesterday, in the blog Exploring the Depth of Living.   I understand your perception, but consider this as well:

You wanted to change your “sanskaras.” You wanted to change the “I,” to become better.
You had developed “disinterest in the world.”
Why did you develop “disinterest in the world”?
Because that is what the Sakar Murlis talk about. The BK method is to develop “disinterest in the world.”
Have you ever wondered why?
This disinterest is sort of a rejection of what the world is. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be any need to practice “disinterest.”
A “test” happens in Life and I am conditioned to show disinterest. That I label as a “change.”
That is exactly what DOING does. “I” act as conditioned to do, according to what I have been taught, what I accept.

Disinterest is not the correct label.  I used to play with toys when I was a kid. Now I don’t. The label is not disinterest. Naturally, those toys don’t appeal to me. I am not “working on” disinterest.  That does not apply to the world, because we are part of it. Do you have “disinterest” for the world now?  🙂

What Avyakt7 NG shares, is that change is natural. Observe the way our consciousness was when we were children. It changes automatically into an adult, without striving to make any effort. You say it is the BK teachings, the mental “churning,” the cause of your change.
However, it was the experience of coming from a different perspective  (BK) from the majority, what has made some change. Knowledge is just theory.
For example: If you go to your relative’s house as a BK, and do not take any food from them when they invite you. Your mind has been conditioned to label their food as “impure.” Correct?
Is that disinterest?
The clash between relatives and you, create the “test.” In your mind you are a misunderstood victim. Your relatives do not understand what is “purity.” They are wrong. You are a right; a martyr being challenged by people who are not like you.
Observe the situation. The awareness of how egos can clash. The BK conditioning is only concerned in  the ideals of being “right,” “pure,“ “holy,” etc. thus; most will miss that opportunity to see themselves as they truly are.
This is an important point: We do not feel good about accepting ourselves as we are, for  we have been conditioned to think that we are sinful, degraded, impure… unlike so and so angel, deity, etc. Therefore, the goal is to become like them. Forget about who you ARE. Just become like them. Work towards the “ideal” and forget the reality of “you.”

“Sanskaras” are changing all the time by themselves. Life brings the situation, the sand-box for change.

There is a reason as to why the Sakar Murlis warned adherents not to leave the BK path, for whatever older sanskaras they had, they will come back even harder once they leave the BK world. Do you remember that Murli point?

Do you see why?
There has not been true change. It was only repression. Otherwise, if you had truly changed, then why those sanskaras should come back?
If you practiced celibacy, and you were celibate for many years; how is it possible for the sexual urge to come back? How is it possible to like someone of the opposite gender or find them attractive, if you know through knowledge that we are all body-less souls?
The answer is repression. That is a big unsaid word in the BK world. The environment there is carefully set up to avoid “tests.”

That is the path of yoga. That is a good path, however. Nevertheless, it is based on willpower, so those who did not have will power, could experience many changes in immediate behavior, as long as the environment is helpful. However, true change is not depending on will power to maintain the change.

DOING may bring change, but not the DOING of the ego.
The DOING of the ego has an ulterior motive (paradise, golden age, god, angel, etc.) and because of that, change cannot be natural, as BapDada has mentioned many times.

For the common good.