Celibacy and Sexuality

Sexuality is a mirror of who we ARE. In a violent world, sex will have that violent color at some point. Constant ejaculation will deplete a man’s vitality. While there are techniques to have sex without ejaculating, as our spirituality blossoms by healing wounds and unlearning conditioned patterns, then what is “achieved” through techniques, becomes natural without techniques.

As our consciousness changes, so will be our sexual life. BEING is before DOING.

In my time as a Brahma Kumaris where I “practiced” celibacy for 10 years (that is no sex at all including masturbation,) that experience showed me my own repressions: I could observe that even though externally in my demeanor there was a non-sexual behavior, internally there was an inner fight: Dreams at night insinuating sexuality and even “wet dreams” which at the time I even counted how many episodes I had within a year and that gave me my “baseline” for what I thought was “improvement.” Once every 6 months was “my record” of non-conscious nocturnal ejaculation. Sometimes it was more, depending on what was going on in my Life at that time. As my rejection towards sex and sexuality increased, I could feel that I was a firm BK with a firm hold on celibacy, but I was just beginning my path in the understanding of sexual energies. Prostate inflammation was the price I paid for that lesson at that time.

I didn’t know that inner violence, unhealed traumas, emotional repressions as well as living mostly in the mind; will not allow the easy flow of sexual energy. As the heart center was developed and the acknowledgment of feelings took place, then little by little the repressions staying in the first and second “chakra” started to clear. I observed that as a kid I loved to dance and I was pretty good. However, as an adult in repression mode; my ability to move with fluidity and dance freely ceased to be.

Through this small article I’d like to urge the BK organization to give their followers useful, positive information about sexual energy. In my time as a BK I looked for trusted information as I did not know Bks who were open to speak about their findings and experiences. When sex becomes a taboo, only repression could happen and that is not celibacy at all. The BK literature about “Brahmacharya” (celibacy) may need further revision as the methodology of infusing fear of sex is not the path for a healthy view of human sexuality.

Now, I realize that as we heal emotionally and allow for the heart to have the driving seat of our BEING, then even the “practice” of celibacy changes totally. There are no “wet dreams” anymore, no repressions but there is the acknowledgment of sexuality as an integral part of Life’s expression. At one point that manifestation was only physical, but then as consciousness evolved, there is a need for the emotional component to be there as well. That is why it has been said that the expression of the mind, body and soul (feelings) together in unison, in alignment, are the complete, wholesome action (DOING.) When those 3 are present together through sexuality, we can label that action as “making love.” Many could be self deceived with the terminology, unless they have a clear recognition of what comes from their mind, feelings and emotions. For most this will be the journey of recognition by going from the mind to the heart.

Celibacy means to transcend sexuality in a natural way and not as a repression of it. However, the balancing point between sex and celibacy is for each of us to feel and observe, as everyone is at different stages of our spiritual development.

I am happy to report that my ability to dance and move the hips with fluidity and grace came back again and I welcomed that experience as the father did to his prodigal son.

The importance of Celibacy

Celibacy is a natural consequence of feeling fulfilled in Life. Whenever there is that inner fulfillment, the mind will not go someplace to look for fulfillment.
When someone had a good meal, that person will not feel hungry. Similarly in Life, as we experience and live, the former “needs” will diminish. What we found to be important at one point in our lives, will cease to be at a later time.

Any religious follower who claims to practice celibacy should ask himself:
Do my mind bring sexual desires within me? Do I still feel attraction for someone? Do I unconsciously bring sexuality into my dreams?
If the answer is yes, then that follower is only repressing to comply with the ideal of celibacy.
If we are fully aware of this, then perhaps we will need to OBSERVE the need, acknowledge it and decide for how long I will be living with a repression, knowing that sooner or later, in this Life or the next ones, there will be a consequence to deal with.
The Golden age is not for repressed individuals. I can guarantee that.

Celibacy cannot be “attained” by the use of will power. It will only be repression.

Why is it that pornography or romantic novels is seeked out by many individuals? Because the mind can fantasize with something that it is not part of his experience. In a few words, that which I don’t have, I want and denying that I want that, only increases my repression and my desire to have it. Have we observed that? The opportunities that Life will bring to observe that repression will be plentiful. Nevertheless, a seeker may avoid those scenarios and live a repressed Life for fear of “failing.” That seeker will not be AWARE of that repression.

Why is it that men and women need to be separated in a “spiritual gathering”? Obviously, to try to avoid a collision of attraction between repressed individuals. Physically may be possible, but mentally cannot happen.
I am not saying that this code of conduct is “bad” or “good.” That doesn’t matter. What matters is to OBSERVE if there is repression. That is all.

Sexuality is not the same for everyone. Not everyone is ready for a fulfilled Life through sexuality. Therefore, when dealing with the masses, it is important to make a “yes” or “no” statement, “good or bad” to simplify things, to make it “safe.”

Celibacy is a process. It is not a compulsion. It doesn’t happen because I want it or because I am too old or too sick. If the mind keeps fantasizing and desiring, there is no celibacy at all.

If I “practice” celibacy, it will only be repression.

Knowing that I am repressing, I could accept that and deal with the consequences; but if I am not AWARE of it, then I am wasting the opportunity to learn from my own experiences.

Celibacy is the completion of a fulfilled Life. Sexuality is the means to that completion for those who are ready. For those who are not, sexuality is a mirror. It will only show who they ARE.

Brahmacharya

Celibacy is a “black or white” practice in Brahma Kumaris.
No sex at all, is the belief to practice to make someone more “spiritual,” “elevated,” “pure.”
What I’d like to transmit to Brahma Kumaris readers is that Sex in itself is not ugly, sinful or impure.
What we ARE is what makes sex into those things that the Sakar Murlis constantly speaks about.

This is not something that I have read or that I am repeating from another guru, or another belief coming from another God. This is my own experience.
What we ARE is not depending on a “practice” such as: “I will be compassionate while having sex.” That is a lie to ourselves. What you ARE will express without any rehearsals. It is your consciousness.

Most individuals at this time, are experiencing an inner rebellion towards sexuality. For some, is about liberation from previous rejections and the expression of their hidden desires, although; their energy will be drained. It is about experiencing a few moments of pleasure. That is the extent of sexuality that they will know.

For others, like in Brahma Kumaris is the continuous attempt to go beyond the body. A “yogi” is meant to conquer sexual desires through their own sheer will power and the help of God.
Why?
Because pleasure is not understood but feared and consequences of deep conditionings of centuries of sexual rejection, will take the individual away from the “spiritual realm” by attaching their senses to the physical body. That is the belief.

One important thing that I have learned in this journey, is not to fight with myself. Every energy that is within has a reason to exist. By opposing to its expression, by repressing it, we are only postponing its expression. Believe me, that repressed sexual energy will express. If it is not allowed to, it will kill you.

Of course, then we have the stories of those who have “conquered sex lust.”
How do you know, how do you measure it? If repression means to “conquer,” that is an ugly way to deal with your sexuality. It will bring consequences.

I am not here to tell anyone to engage in sexual activities or to reject them completely. Everyone has their own path, the range of sexuality is vast and it spans from no sex at all to lots of sex, to transcending sex lust, through refining subtle energies (Brahmacharya.) Love is in that realm for some.

My concern is for your health. I just want to say that to be honest with your current state of BEING is the most important aspect.

Transcendence of sexuality does not happen through rejection, will power or any sort of commandment that we wish to follow. It is a natural state, experienced once your time arrives. It is not on your hands to expedite your process. Every experience that we experience in Life, is necessary as it is.

If you look and acknowledge where you ARE rather than what your mind tells you what “should be,” you will have the chance to enjoy the gift of living Life. When you are enjoying, you are spreading good vibrations to everyone. When you are enjoying Life, you are DOING service without any childish desires for Paradise, high status, to make subjects, etc. It is NATURAL service to humanity.
Finally, when you are enjoying Life you are accumulating “good karma.”
Honesty has its benefits, but those benefits will be experienced when we do not “practice” honesty, but when we ARE honest without any practice whatsoever.

For the common good.