On Detachment and Love

When little Johnny was growing up, his parents decided for him to move to another country to continue his studies; to his aunt’s house, so he can learn and expand his experiences and have a “better” life.

Johnny accepted. Once he met his aunt in this new place. He became homesick. Johnny was attached to his family and the previous traditions. He missed the food he used to eat, his friends, his family and compared everything of his new setting to the old one. All of that is known as attachment.

Mary had a good relationship with Peter. In an accident, Peter passed away. Mary broke down. She developed a mental issue known as “bipolar.” She lost her good job and her house. What Mary experienced is another form of attachment.

Before passing away, Peter ended up in the local hospital “fighting for his Life.” Peter didn’t want to go, but Life had other plans. Peter was attached to his Life.

Robert strongly believed in his religion. He was ready to defend his belief at all costs. Robert was attached to his ideas and beliefs for he thought that he was “right.” He became a self-righteous individual, dismissing any other perspectives of Life but his own.

All of the above are forms of attachment. Detachment means that we are free from all of that.

The interesting aspect is that we cannot “work on detachment,” it just happens when when we either fully realize that uncertainty is the “spice” of Life and Love is the full acceptance of ‘what is;’ or through suffering (which is the most usual) that is when “tests” appear and we start “losing” all of that which is meaningful to us. That is when all the “security” that we built, crumble and for many, “real” change will happen when these individuals “survive” in Love not bitterness, after nothing else is left to hold onto. If we are not “ripe” enough, we may experience one or 2 hardships in Life and go on living in the “successful” cloud, even though we carry an unresolved trauma with us.

Detachment is necessary to Love, for otherwise; we are attached to some ideal, idea, wish or expectation which hinders Love to manifest. It is the other “love” with expectations, emotionality (jealousy, envy, manipulation, bargaining power) the one that most know about.

When someone “practices” detachment, that could be a hilarious experience. That person represses something wishing to be something which he is not. “Practice” Love instead for it requires a conscious initiation of full acceptance in our hearts and maintaining that momentum going.

True detachment is unknown for those who actually are detached, for it is recognized in their Love, so paradoxically detachment is “attached” to Love as “heads is to tails” in a coin. Knowing Love, we know detachment. Not the other way around.